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Interview with Chuck Norris

After the interview with God and the Higgs boson, the last interview the inventor Universe.

Interview with Chuck Norris

Question: It 'an honor to be able to interview. Recently I met with the Higgs boson, which made me an excellent statement: it says that the universe has invented her.

Chuck: The Higgs ? Cute kid ...

Question: So ? What he said is true or not?

Chuck: invented is a big word, we say that the idea is mine, here. I rejected the basics.

Question: How ? Rejected? Well, modest as ever.

Chuck: It 's a bit of my pecuniary characteristic.

Question: pecuniary?

Chuck: Yes, fine. When one has a particular talent or ability that distinguishes him.

Question: Ah, yes, I understand ... um ... And how did the idea of \u200b\u200bcreating the universe?

Chuck: E 'was an epiphany. In the sense that I was there, in the empty space and in total darkness and I had nothing to do but turn thumbs in a clockwise direction. After nearly two millennia of clockwise, I began to twist counterclockwise and found to have invented the reverse. After about four or five millennia, I can not tell you exactly how the math because, unlike literature, is not my forte, I decided it was time to stretch legs too. At the time I was just ectorplasma e. ..

Question: A ectorche?

Chuck: A ECTORPLASMA. An entity without rhyme or reason, neither meat nor fish, nor pottage, has this? Well, I mean, as a disembodied entity but one spirit, I decided that I should raise my body position and move to a more material and solidified, because otherwise I would never be able to have sex. But that's another story.

Question: Excuse me if I would, Mr. Norris, but from what I remember she never had sex.

Chuck: Ah, no? Here cos’ho dimenticato di fare, allora! Comunque..., dopo aver dato una forma ben fatta e muscolosa al mio nuovo corpo, scoprii quanto era bello fare attività fisica. L’unico problema era che in totale assenza di gravità non riuscivo mai a capire qual era il sopra e quale il sotto, così pensai che dovevo assolutamente creare qualcos’altro di materiale, oltre me, per poter avere sotto i piedi della sostanza concreta su cui correre, saltare, dormire e fare sesso.

Domanda: Le ricordo che non ha mai fatto sesso.

Chuck: Ah, vero. Ha fatto bene a ricordarmelo, ora me lo segno. Dicevo, mentre vagavo senza meta per l’universo, scorgetti da lontano...

Question: Scorgetti?

Chuck: Yes, why?

Question: Nothing, nothing, should be continued as well.

Chuck: ... scorgetti the sign of this pub on the edge of the universe that had not yet been created, which I knew perfectly well why it was written on the sign "The universe has not yet been created," and while I appropinquavo seco me, with you, I distinctly heard a laugh come from local Rufuliana. My sixth or eighth sense, I do not remember, told me that someone was in danger and needed help, so I started looking for a phone, a mobile phone or even a carrier pigeon, but nothing. Appuntai contact me, then such a MacGyver who told me did wonders with string and a couple of matches ... I should point out, however, that at the time of the foul deed, my body was still under warranty, I did not know how it worked, so I was pretty clumsy in his movements ...

Question: But as she has not always been as we used to know? Physical sculpture, shot cat and primate jaw?

Chuck: Eh, no. Even I was a Merdin as a young man. Just like her.

Question: Excuse me, but here we are talking about me.

Chuck: Very true, but believe me, you would need to do some 'gym.

Question: not digress.

Chuck: Well, not yet know the potential of this body of mine well done and beautifully muscled, then after opening the doors of the pub - that were similar to those of the Wild West saloon, has this? Of those that if you're not careful you find yourself suddenly in the back - I was suddenly the doors in the back and hit me scapicollare toward the center of the room, not before, however, to have stumbled with my leg in a camperos stool. The collision was so violent that one of my camperos $ 2000 took off from my perfect, muscular foot and was thrown into the air in the direction of Rufuliano. In his swirling hiss, camperos first hit the wall where that nice Higgs was stuck, then the Rufuliano, killing him instantly, then the bartender, who died of old age a few years later. It is to thank that I only have two feet, otherwise I would un'ecatrombe ...

Question: Eca ... But then, sorry, let me know ... was not her, kicked rotating to release the Higgs?

Chuck: Eh, no ... Do you think, even now I do not know how to do a rotating football, usually the ones they make my stand.

Question: Lei .. has a stunt double? We always thought it was always her to turn even the most dangerous scene of his TV series and now it turns out that a stunt?

Chuck: Look, I would have liked them to me, but I did just four years of ballet e. ..

Question: BALLET??

Chuck: course! I already got a degree in cross stitch, third level, attended the santons paste salt, to hair curlers and no one on the extreme French Manicure ... I missed only the ballet, to be a complete player, no?

Question: Excuse me, but then his stand-in who he is?

Chuck: do not know, I never laid eyes on ... But I know what it's called.

Question: How ?

Chuck: Sister Germana.